Going Nowhere at the Speed of Light
by Immortal-Skydragons
Summary: Tiran: Yugi and the gang get stuck in a KMart for 2 weeks, alone. Or so they thought... UPDATE: At long last, we have chapter five!
1. Heading for Trouble?

Tiran: I redid this chapter, so, enjoy.

Kat: And I re-edited a bit! Like I always do. I like editing. Now, what about the disclaimer?

Tiran: Oh, yeah! Me an' Kat don't own K-Mart or YGO.

Kat: What a shame, huh?

Tiran: Yep.

* * *

**Going Nowhere at the Speed of Light  
Chapter 1:** Heading For Trouble?

* * *

A car pulled up the driveway at the Kame Game Shop (Tristan was driving) and Joey jumped out. He ran into the shop.

"Hello, Joey. Yugi is upstairs in his room." stated Solomon Mutou.

"Thanks, Gramps!" replied Joey, running up the stairs. "YUGI! What's takin' so long? We're supposed to be goin' to K-Mart, didja forget?" he exclaimed.

"I'm coming, Joey!" replied Yugi. Yugi finished getting ready and came out of his room, which is separate from Yami's room.

"Are you ready yet Yami?" asked Yugi, as Yami walked out of his room.

"All set, Aibou," replied Yami, who was wearing a big white trench coat.

"Um, Yami, why are you wearing one of Kaiba's coats?" asked a mystified Yugi.

"I won it from him in a poker game."

"Okay..."

Yugi walked down the stairs to join Joey. Yami followed, but tripped over the coat (which was WAY too big for him), fell down the stairs, and landed flat on his face.

"Ouch..."

"Why don't you just leave that here, alright?" Yugi suggested, trying not to laugh.

"Good idea..." replied a slightly embarrassed Yami. He ran back up to his room, threw the coat onto the bed, and ran back downstairs.

"That coat was too big for me anyway," stated Yami.

"Yeah, that's why you tripped. Let's go," replied Yugi.

"C'mon, everybody's waitin' in the car," exclaimed Joey, who was tapping his foot impatiently.

"Goodbye Yugi. Have a good time!" Grandpa called.

"Bye Grandpa!" Yugi called back, as they all went outside to the car (which happened to be a Hummer) where Tristan, Ryou, Bakura, Mai, Serenity, Tea, Marik, Malik, and Duke were waiting.

"Brr, it's cold out here!" stated Joey.

"You could borrow the coat I won from Kaiba," suggested Yami.

"Like I'd ever wanna wear somethin' that belonged to Kaiba..." Joey muttered.

"How can everyone fit in there?" Yugi asked Tristan.

"It seats at least 15, I'm drivin', Duke's up front with me, you, Yami, and Joey are behind us, Tea, Serenity, and Mai are behind you, and Marik, Malik, Ryou and Bakura are shoved into the back." replied Tristan.

"Rather uncomfortably, I might add," Ryou interjected.

"Oh, stop complaining..." Marik grumbled.

"You're just grouchy 'cause I beat you at Ping Pong!" shouted Malik.

"Would you two shut up!" Bakura yelled as Tea, Serenity, and Mai were sweatdropping in front of them.

Yugi, Yami, and Joey climbed into the car.

"Anyone want some candy? I brought a lot!" asked Yugi. **((Tiran:** I wonder where that will lead?

"Eh, no thanks Yuug." refused Joey.

After many minutes of arguing between the Yamis, and much candy-eating done by Yugi, they reached the K-Mart, 15 minutes from closing.

"Alright guys, we got fifteen minutes, lets go!" Joey exclaimed.

"Jou, are you sure about this?" asked Yugi.

"'Course I am, nothin' could possibly go wrong. It's just a little shopping trip," Joey assured his friend. If he only knew...

* * *

**End of Chapter 1**

* * *

Tiran: That went well.

Kat: Yeah, I think so. Well, so long everyone. Remember the 3 R's: Read, review, recycle!

Tiran: I thought it was: "Reduce, Reuse, Recycle"...?

Kat: Oh, I think you're right. Well, do it anyway! xD


	2. Who?

Tiran: Hey, our loyal fans. This chapter has now been updated!

Kat: And the whole story will now be done in story form!

Tiran: Tea, put your HUGE mouth to good use.

Tea: Tiran and Kat do NOT own anything except issues of Shonen Jump, Pokemon Sapphire, a giant box of legos, assorted Game Boy Advance games, cravings for Beef Jerky. Whoops, ran out of breath. Probably hundreds of Yu-Gi-Oh! cards, their accounts, various video game consoles, assorted graphic novels, AND MANY OTHER THINGS! But not any anime or anything they haven't bought or have been given.

Kat: ... O.O

Tiran: She is right, you know.

Kat: Yep.

* * *

**Going Nowhere at the Speed of Light  
Chapter 2:** Who?

* * *

When we last left our heroes, they were arriving at K-Mart.

"Alright! Everybody OUT!" exclaimed Joey.

"YAY!" yelled everyone as they ran into the K-Mart.

A few moments later...

"Where are we going, Aibou?" asked Yami.

"To the cards, of course!" replied Yugi, dragging Yami.

"Whaa-" He was cut off by the sight of the HUGE CARD AISLE.

"I TOLD YOU!"

Yami's jaw literally dropped. "...how much money do you have, Yugi?" he asked.

"About $290."

Yami's eyes widened, and he grinned evilly. "LET'S GET A CART!" Yami got a shopping cart and loaded it with decks and packs of cards.

"YAMI! That money is for my Game Boy Advance and game!"

"Yugi, please. There's more than enough, so come on!" Yami ran off, with Yugi in the cart.

"STOP! yelled Yugi.

"What? Why?" asked Yami.

"My Game Boy is over there."

"Oh. Right." Yugi grabbed the GBA and game, and threw them in the cart.

**---WITH JOEY AND TRISTAN---**

"Oh, YEAH! Nice cover! AND a pull-out?" exclaimed Joey.

"You're right!" replied Tristan, drooling.

Then Serenity walked up behind them, and they didn't see her. "What are you looking at?" she asked.

Joey and Tristan yelped, and Joey tried to hide the magazine behind his back.

"Sis, don't do that! W-we were only looking at a magazine!" shouted Joey. He dropped it and Serenity picked it up.

"You were acting so excited over a video game magazine?" she asked with an eyebrow raised.

They both sweatdropped. "Ehehehe..."

**---WITH MALIK AND MARIK---**

"Marik, look!" said Malik.

"What?"

"A jewelry case! With GOLD jewelry!"

"SWEET! There's a cross, and a-" Marik was cut off by a voice.

"Alright! That's a nice necklace!"

Malik and Marik turned to see a girl with silver-blue eyes and long black hair pulled up into a high ponytail. She was wearing dark blue jeans, a black short-sleeved shirt, and a denim jacket.

"Huh?" the girl turned and saw M & M(lol). "Oh, hi! I'm Katana Ryuuza, but you can call me Kat." Kat smiled.

"H-hi..." replied Marik, as he stared at her.

"Hey, buddy?" asked Malik.

"Umm...what's wrong with him?" asked Kat, as Malik started poking Marik.

"Heeellllloooooo, Earth to Marik!" exclaimed Malik.

"Wha- HEY! Stop!" shouted Marik, as he punched Malik. Kat began to giggle.

"You two should meet Tiran." she said.

"Who?" asked Malik

* * *

**End of Chapter 2**

* * *

Kat: Stay tuned for chapter 3!

Tiran: Remember, keep reading and reviewing!

Tale: I hope I don't have to do the disclaimers next time, it's so boooring...

Tiran: Nah, Tea's big mouth should do the job nicely.

Tea: Hey! That's mean! You shouldn't say things like that, it's not friendly! Friendship is the most important thing in the world, and-

Tale: --tapes Tea's mouth shut--

Tea: Mrmph!

Tiran: Please R&R quickly before she gets that tape off!

Kat: Oh yeah, and this story is somewhat based upon SadSaturn's fic "The Kmart from hell".


	3. The Evils of Annoying Yamis, and some

Kat: Welcome to the New and Improved Chapter Three, now in Paragraph Format!

Tiran: Everybody stand back and prepare for the disclaimer! --rips the tape off Tea's mouth--

Tea: Kat and Tiran do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, K-Mart, Teddy Grahams, any other anime or manga, any other shopping center, any other snack food, any aliens, any anime voice actors, any skyscrapers, Kaiba Corp., Kaiba Corp. Island, Mt. Rushmore, the Pacific Ocean, any brands of hair care products, any fashion magazines, any computer viruses, any storm clouds, any football fields, any of Saturn's moons, any days of the week, any sewer pipes, any national holidays, any Endangered animals, any airplanes, any medieval castles, any UFOs, any Presidential Suites, any Internet browsers, any fiber-optic cables, any Time Machines, any Dragonballs, any icebergs, any celebrities, any aircraft, any cruise ships, the White House, any countries, Konami, Nintendo, Sega, Sony, Square Enix, VIZ, any hovercraft, NASA, or the universe! They do own a few things, but who cares about that?

Tale: O.O ...WHAT THE HELL!

Tiran: Calm down, Tale.. -.-;

Kat: Well, that was weird..! o.O

Tiran: And she did it all in one breath!

Kat: Anyway, please read and review!

Tale: --tapes Tea's mouth shut again before she can start a friendship rant--

Tea: Mmph!

* * *

**Going Nowhere at the Speed of Light  
Chapter 3:** The Evils of Annoying Yamis, and Some New Friends

* * *

**---WITH TEA, DUKE, AND MAI---**

"Tea, where are the dice?" asked Duke.

"They don't have any." Tea replied. "How about singing a friendship song instead?"

Duke's eyes bugged out. "WHAT! NO DICE?" he yelled. "AND I DO NOT WANT TO SING A FRIENDSHIP SONG!"

"He's clearly over-reacting..." said Mai, shaking her head. "I'm going to find some new makeup..." She walked away, leaving Tea and Duke to fight.

"Attention, K-Mart shoppers," said a voice over the loudspeaker. "We close in 5 seconds, have a nice day! 3... 2... 1. We are now closed. Good night!"

**---IN THE SNACK AISLE---**

"NOOOOOO! DAMN TEDDY GRAHAMS!" a boy yelled. "If I weren't so hungry, I would be gone by now!"

**---BY THE MAIN ENTRANCE---**

Yugi and everyone else dashed up to the main entrance. Yami, Bakura, Tristan, Joey, and Duke tried to ram the door down, with absolutely NO luck.

"It's no use," Yami said. "And the K-mart will be closed for 2 weeks..."

"WHAT!" everyone screamed in disbelief.

"Yep." Yami confirmed. "I saw the sign when I came in."

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US?" they all yelled in reply.

"You never asked..." Yami said meekly.

Before they all could kill Yami..the boy from the snack aisle walked up.

"So this is what the commotion is all about..." he muttered.

"TIRAN! There you are! Where'd ya go? I found something really cool I wanted to show you." Kat said as she approached the group, followed by Marik and Malik, with Marik following so closely that he's almost bumping into her. She glanced back at Marik and sweatdropped.

"I got hungry," Tiran replied. Kat rolled her eyes, grinning.

"So, we're trapped for two whole weeks?" Tiran asked. "Crap..."

"Whaat!" Kat exclaimed. "Crap is right! But I suppose it could be worse, like being trapped in an insane asylum with a bunch of crazy people..." ((Kat: I mean no offense to crazy people. n.n))

"And that's probably where we'll all be sent to if we ever get out of this damn place..." Bakura grumbled.

At this point, Tiran and Kat walked away from the crowd.

"I guess we shouldn't tell them WE got them trapped, huh?" Tiran whispered to Kat.

"Yeah," Kat whispered back.

Right then, Marik walked up to Kat.

"Hi..." he said, staring again. "Grr..." Kat growled, annoyed.

"Should I take care of him?" Tiranwhispered toKat, cracking his knuckles.

"Please do," she replied. "He's starting to get on my nerves.."

Kat pinned Marik's arms behind his back, and Tiran whacked him in the back of the neck, knocking him out. Then they walked back, with Tiran dragging Marik.

"Hi," Tiran said. "We had to take care of something, and Marik was hit with a falling teddy bear."

"But-" Yugi started, confused.

"It was filled with candy!" Kat falsely explained.

"Oh... can I have some?" Yugi asked.

"I sent it to the shadow realm," Tiran told him.

"Aww.."

"Umm... we should make camp, seeing as we will be here for a LONG time..." suggested Kat.

"Can it be in the toy department?" Yugi asked hopefully.

"Nope." Tiran answered. "It's gonna be in the middle, now follow me."

"What are we getting?" Yami asked as they followed Tiran.

"Tents an' stuff like dat, right?" Joey speculated.

"How many tents do we need?" asked Duke.

"I want candy..." Yugi remarked suddenly. "Oh wait, I forgot I brought some!" He pulled out his bag of candy with a HUGE grin and began devouring it (the candy, not the bag). "YAY!"

"Oh, boy," Yami muttered, sighing. "Yugi's gonna get hyper again..."

"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, MARIK!" Malik shouted uselessly at Marik, who didn't reply because he was still unconscious, and being carried by Tristan.

Kat, I'm gonna wake him up now, 'kay? Tiran said telepathically to Kat. Sure Kat replied. Tiran smacked Marik.

"OWWWW! ...huh? Where am I?" Marik asked groggily as he woke up.

"GREAT, BECAUSE OF DUKE AND TEA, MY MAKE-UP IS RUINED!" Mai yelled suddenly.

"As long as me an' Serenity are together, everything will be okay!" Tristan exclaimed happily.

"Oh, Tristan..." Serenity replied as they hugged, while Duke and Joey glared at them.

"I'm sick and tired of all this!" Bakura shouted. "I didn't even want to come to this damned place anyway!"

"Well, I'm also tired AND I'm hungry, so would you please SHUT THE HELL UP, BAKURA!" Ryou screamed in reply, breathing heavily and glaring.

Everyone stared at him.

"What?" Ryou asked defensively. "I can curse and yell..."

"ALRIGHT! STOP SHOUTING AT EACH OTHER!" Tiran demanded, exasperated.

"Yeah, that's not nice!" Tea said, beginning a friendship rant. "We should all be friends!" She began singing. "Why can't we be friends, why can't we be friends? Because friendship makes the world go round and--"

BAM! Tea disappeared in a bright flash of light.

"Who sent her to the shadow realm?" Yami asked, as everyone looked around, startled. "I did!" a girl's voice replied. "She just wouldn't shut up!"

"Tale!" Tiran exclaimed. "All you need is some duct tape!"

"Oh...okay!" She grabbed some duct tape, brought Tea back, and taped her mouth shut.

"I'd like to know something, Tristan..." Ryou began, somewhat calmer. "If your Hummer can seat 15, why were Marik, Malik, Bakura and I stuffed into the back?"

"..you're right. Why were we?" Bakura demanded. "That was VERY annoying..."

"Uhh..." Tristan replied, glancing around with shifty eyes.

Yugi, still stuffing his face with candy, looked over at Yami, who was staring at Tale with an odd expression on his face.

"Why're you looking at her like that, Yami?" Yugi asked.

Yami blinked and shook his head, and looked away from Tale rapidly. "..no reason..." he muttered in reply.

* * *

**End of Chapter 3**

* * *

Tiran: Well, this is turning out better and better.

Kat: Oh, and the reason we changed the format is because we can convey the action that will be coming up in later chapters better this way.

--Tea slips out of the duct tape somehow--

Tea: Hi! I'd like to sing a song! I love you, you love-

Tale: What! OH, NO!

She hurriedly puts new tape over Tea's mouth

Tea: -.-U

Tiran: That was quick...

Kat: I wonder how long she'll go on with the disclaimer next time... o.o

Tale: ... --gets GIANT roll of duct tape ready--

Tiran: oO;

Kat: So long for now!

Tiran: Oh yeah, and we might introduce a new character in the next chapter.

Kat: Oh yeah, to all Tea/Anzu-lovers, we're not trying to make you mad or anything, but Tea-bashing is just so much fun, we couldn't help it!


	4. The Highest Numbered Chapter Yet!

Kat: Hello everyone, and welcome to chapter 4 of Going Nowhere at the Speed of Light, or "Gnatsol" for short.

Tiran: Bet you're all glad for the update, ne? We introduce a couple new characters in this chapter, and a certain creepy song makes a cameo appearance (in an expanded version that we did).

Tale: I'll do the disclaimer so we won't have to listen to Tea. --clears throat-- "Ahem...Tiran and Kat do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! or anything else that doesn't belong to them. They don't own the altered song either, though they own the alterations. They do own themselves and any other original characters not part of the anime or manga. And I... I own the World's Most-Used Giant Roll of Duct Tape, perfect for keeping that freak quiet."

Tea: Why are you so mean? You need to learn about friendsh-MMPH!

Tale: --tapes mouth shut--

Kat & Tiran: --sweatdrop--

* * *

**Going Nowhere at the Speed of Light  
Chapter 4:** The Highest-Numbered Chapter Yet!

* * *

"All right, to get things done quickly and efficiently, I will divide you up into teams of three." Tiran explained to everyone. "Yami, you will be with…Tea and Bakura."

"WHAAAAAAAT?" shrieked Yami and Bakura in horror.

"Oh, good! Now I can be with Yami, and teach Bakura about friendship!" Tea exclaimed happily. She then proceeded to dance around like a moron.

"HOLD IT!" Bakura commanded, glaring angrily at Tiran. "What makes you think YOU'RE gonna be the one calling the shots around here! If anyone gets to decide what we all do, I say it should be ME!"

"What makes you think you have the ability to be a leader, Tombrobber?" Yami demanded. "I say I should, because I was the Pharaoh!"

"Well, I say it should be neither because I am obviously the only sane one around here!" Tiran yelled in frustration. "Hey, I resent that!" Ryou called from his place by a check-out lane.

"And anyway, you obviously don't know us very well!" Bakura continued, glaring at Tiran once more. "That FORMER Pharaoh and I absolutely HATE each other, and that girl...no, that FRIENDSHIP-NONSENSE-SPOUTING EARSPLITTING BRAIN-NUMBING FREAK OF NATURE OVER THERE," he pointed to Tea, "IS THE SINGLE MOST ANNOYING BEING EVER TO COME INTO EXISTENCE!"

At this point, Tea stopped dancing. "You know what..." she began slowly.

"Oh no..I can feel it...a rant coming on..." Yami whispered in terror.

Tea opened her mouth wide... "I think..."

"Here it comes..." Yami said, hiding behind a shopping cart.

"Wait a minute, what's going on?" Tiran demanded frantically.

And then...ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE!

"--insert a friendship rant here--", ranted Tea at the top of her lungs. Bakura was backed into a corner, shivering. 

"--rantrantrant--" Tea continued. Bakura curled up into the Fetal Position. "Shutupshutup!"

Tea looked over. "Aww...somebody needs a hug..!"

"YAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEGGGGHHH!" Bakura ran away, screaming bloody murder. Every one else watched in interest.

Tea stared towards the direction he ran. "...was it something I said?"

"You could say that..." Tiran muttered shakily, never having encountered one of Tea's infamous "Friendship Rants" before and looking like he just got hit by a hurricane.

Yami emerged from behind the shopping cart, shuddering. "You'd think you'd get used to it over time...but you don't..."

"Anyway, back to business. This is your group, and it's not gonna change." Tiran said. _'I'm sure glad I didn't put myself with her...'_ he thought to himself with a shudder.

Bakura came back now, keeping his distance from Tea. "Damn girl would kill me if I wasn't already technically dead..." he muttered.

"Now...who next...oh, I know!" Tiran said, while glancing around at everybody else. "Everyone, come over here. I'm assigning groups."

The others walked over from their various places. Kat kept pushing shopping carts and various other objects behind her as she walked to keep Marik from following too closely. _'Geez...leave me alone already...'_

"Okay, now I've already formed Group 1," Tiran told everyone, pointing to Tea, Yami, and Bakura. "And I have decided that Group 2 will have Yugi, Ryou, and Malik."

"Yay!" Yugi exclaimed happily, still munching on his candy.

"Is there a reason you put all hikaris in one group?" Malik asked.

"Yes, I was wondering that too..." Ryou said, looking curious.

"No..." Tiran replied with shifty eyes.

"Tiran, I think you should know that Yugi is still sugar-high.." Kat said, looking over at the vertically-challenged hikari who was hopping up and down while eating the candy.

"Yeah, he is. Okay Malik, until he cools down, hold his hand." Tiran instructed.

"Why do I have to hold his hand?" Malik demanded with a groan.

"Just do it."

"Fine..."

Suddenly, every single light in the store went out at once.

"W-what's going on?" Serenity asked nervously.

"Power outage, I'd say," Ryou replied. "It's storming."

"Aw, man... I hate the dark..." Joey muttered, then bumped into someone.

"OUCH! Watch it, you klutz!" cried Tristan, who was the person Joey bumped into.

"Sorry..."

"Great! Now I can't see to do my make-up!" Mai complained.

"Who cares about your stupid make-up?" Duke demanded. "I dropped a die and I can't find it!"

"Good thing I had just taped Tea's mouth shut before the lights went out," Tale said with a smug grin that no one could see.

"MNBMMFRRRMMBH!" the afore-mentioned girl mumbled through the tape.

"What the hell is _that_ supposed to mean...?" Bakura wondered.

"Who knows?" Marik said in reply, while chewing gum. "Oh...I got gum in my hair!"

Malik started laughing.

The only light that remained was the occasional flash of lightning from the storm outside. Then footsteps were suddenly heard, and a pair of creepy, glowing red eyes appeared some distance away from the group.

"Alright Bakura...enough fooling around, get back over here," said Ryou, watching as the eyes moved closer very slowly.

"It's not me... But whoever they are, they've sure got style," Bakura remarked approvingly.

A sudden flash of lightning and crack of thunder made everyone jump, and then an equally creepy voice joined the eyes.

_"Total slaughter...  
Total slaughter...  
I won't leave a single man alive..."_ the voice sang, in a chilling, evil tone, moving towards them as it sang. Joey yelped and hid behind a candy shelf.

_"La di da di dee,  
None shall go free...  
La di da di dun,  
There's nowhere to run..."_ Yugi shivered and ate more candy. The eyes grew closer...

_"La di da di dai,  
Genocide...  
La di da di dud,  
An ocean of blood..."_ Marik let out a piercing shriek and grabbed onto Kat. REALLY tight. "...URK! Guh...lemme go..."

_"Let's begin the killing time..."_ the voice finished, as the eyes moved even closer.

A loud 'THUD!' was heard as Malik fainted, and collapsed in a heap.

"Never thought those two would get scared so easily..." Yami muttered.

Bakura was applauding. "I LOVE that song!"

Meanwhile, Kat had somehow gotten out of Marik's hold.

"I know that voice...AND that song, though that wasn't the original version.." she said, walking towards the glowing pair of eyes. The owner of the eyes laughed, in a much nicer tone than before.

"I changed it a bit," a girl's voice said. "You like?"

"I did!" Bakura said suddenly, pushing past Kat and running over to the mystery person, whose eyes had lost their red glow. A flash of lightning revealed the person to be a girl with long black hair and deep green eyes, wearing gold ankh earrings. Another girl was following behind her.

"What is your name, where did you come from, and will you consider joining me in spreading terror throughout the world!" the tombrobber demanded.

"Uh Kanika, Women's Clothing, and no thank you..." Kanika replied, raising an eyebrow.

Bakura looked disappointed. "But when I heard that song... I was sure you would help with my acts of evilness..."

Kat walked over to them, laughing. "Sorry, but Kanika isn't evil. She just likes to have fun and scare people once in a while."

"And how would YOU know all this?" Bakura demanded, arms crossed.

"She knows because I'm her yami," Kanika explained.

"You have a Millennium Item?" Bakura asked Kat, frowning. Everyone else walked over to them, with many collisions with other people and objects. Marik was dragging Malik.

"Yep!" Kat replied, pulling something out of a pouch. "The Millennium Ocarina!" She held up a golden ocarina that had the Millennium Symbol in silver on the mouthpiece, with a sapphire in the center of the eye.

"Hey, she's not the only one!" Tiran exclaimed, a little jealous of the attention that Kat was suddenly getting because of her Item.

"Ooh, you have one too?" asked Yugi.

"Yeah. Tale's my yami. I have no clue why I have a girl yami, so don't ask..."

"Is that a problem?" Tale demanded somewhat crossly.

"What about the Item?" asked Bakura, eyes wide.

"Did you notice the gold scabbard at my side? It's the Millennium Katana. Not to be confused with my friend, Katana. Kat's her short name." Tiran said, showing off the sheathed sword. "I'm not gonna take it out right now.."

"Hey! What about me!" exclaimed the other girl, placing her hands on her hips.

"Oh, shimatta... this is May, me and Kat's other friend," Tiran explained, sweatdropping. "Sorry I forgot ya, May."

"It's alright," May assured him, smiling. "Nice to meet all of you!"

Most of the others said something along the lines of "Hello, nice to meet you too", except Bakura and Marik, who weren't big on kindness, and Malik, who was still unconscious.

"Okay, now, I was going to do more groups, but I think we should try to find something to help us see," Tiran advised. "Does anyone know where we can find flashlights?"

"I think I saw some..." Ryou said, nudging Malik with his foot. "Still out cold... I'll go find them."

"I know where some batteries are," Kat told them, edging slowly away from Marik, who kept following her. "Could you please STOP THAT!"

Marik moved away from Kat, but kept staring at her.

"Why do we need flashlights?" Bakura asked, while secretly sending Duke's dice to the Shadow Realm one by one (and Duke had brought a LOT). "I like the dark..."

Duke reached into a pocket to pull out a die, only to have it disappear right as he grabbed it. "WHAT? MY DIE! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Everyone covered their ears and groaned. Bakura just snickered evilly, having already found ear plugs and used them. He continued to banish the dice.

"I'm gonna wake Malik up now," Marik said, and then bent down and whispered something into Malik's ear.

Malik sat bolt upright. "WHERE!" he cried with a look of pure terror on his face.

Everyone else cringed at yet another loud noise.

"What did you say to him?" Yami wondered, watching as Malik cowered behind a shopping cart (they do that a lot, don't they?).

"I told him that the thing he's most scared of is nearby," Marik replied.

"And what would that be?"

"...--snicker--...bananas."

Everyone stared. Malik screamed. Then everyone burst out laughing.

"BANANAS!" Tristan exclaimed incredulously. "What kind of moron would be scared of bananas!"

"HIS kinda moron!" Joey said, laughing so hard he was slowly collapsing onto the floor. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...Hehehe...ow..."

"Hey, that's not very nice..." Serenity said, frowning. "Joey, I happen to know you're afraid of-MMPH!"

Joey clapped a hand over his sister's mouth. "Awright, I'll stop makin' fun of 'im, geez... Just don't tell..."

"Can't see...must do make-up..." Mai mumbled, rocking back and forth in corner (suffering from make-up withdrawal).

"Something tells me we're in for a long two weeks..." Tiran muttered. Kat nodded in agreement.

So, what was everyone doing by this time? Well...

Yugi was continuously stuffing his face with candy. His bag of candy had run out a while ago, but unfortunately (for everyone else), there was a lot of candy in K-Mart. So on and on he ate...

Tea was laying bound & gagged on a check-out conveyor belt thing (Tale's handiwork).

Duke was trying to find the dice that had vanished. Bakura was still vanishing the rest.

Tristan was badgering Serenity to tell Joey's secret phobia. Joey was trying to kill him. Serenity was sweatdropping.

Malik was cowering and Marik was laughing at him.

Yami was watching as Tale began to completely encase Tea in a duct-tape cocoon. She reluctantly left an air hole.

Ryou was looking for flashlights and Kat was getting extra batteries.

Mai was rocking back and forth...

Tiran was getting a headache. May was humming quietly.

And Kanika was nowhere to be found...

* * *

**End of Chapter 4**

* * *

Kat: This was getting real long, so we decided to end chapter four here!

Tiran: Plus...we can't really think of anything else to add right now...

Tale: At least you finally updated.

Kanika: --is nowhere to be found--

Tea: --still duct-taped-- Reeeddnnnreeeephooooo!

Tale? oO;

Tiran: I think she said "Read and review".

Kat: Think you're right. So c'mon people, go do it! n.n


	5. Perverts and Psychos and Morons, Oh My!

Kat: Oi, minna! About time we updated, ne? In this chapter everyone starts setting up the "campsite".

Tiran: Of course, with these guys, even something as simple as that becomes insanely complicated.

May: Especially since Tristan and Duke won't stop fighting over Serenity...

Tale: Who's doin' the disclaimer this time?

Tiran: I guess Tea again. Oh yeah, Tale is Set, for those of you who may not have noticed the note in our profile.

Kat: Tale means "green" in Egyptian.

Kanika: And my name means "black" in Egyptian.

Tiran: Funny, I had thought your name was Japanese...

Kanika: It does kinda seem like it, huh?

May: Sure does.

Tale: Well, I guess it's disclaimer time. --frees Tea's head from duct-tape cocoon--

Tea: Kat, Tiran, May, Kanika, and Tale don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, K-Mart, or anything else that doesn't belong to them that might be mentioned in this fic. By the way, I could use some help here! Seriously, being stuck in a duct-tape cocoon isn't fun! Please, help me! PLE-

Tale: --re-tapes her head-- Jeez, I wish people had a volume control...

Kat: An addition to the disclaimer, we don't really hate Tea.

Tale: Speak for yourself...

Tiran: Yeah, she's just fun to make fun of!

May!emit cif s'ti won dnA

Kanika: May, why are you talking backwards?

May: ...aedi on evah I

* * *

**Going Nowhere at the Speed of Light**  
**Chapter Five:** Perverts and Psychos and Morons, Oh My!

* * *

Joey, Tristan, and Duke were busy setting up tents in the middle of the store. Unfortunately, they weren't doing a very good job, and were spending more of their time arguing than getting the tents ready...

"Ouch! Tristan, ya just slammed dat pole right onto my foot!" cried Joey.

"..sorry."

"Anyway, I think I should be the one to share the tent with Serenity." Duke remarked.

"No way! I should!" Tristan insisted.

"Why you?" demanded the dice-obsessed teen.

"Because I, uhh... I was with her while she recovered from her eye operation! ..yeah, that's it..."

"Oh, quit arguin' already!" Joey exclaimed, exasperated.

Yami walked up to them just then.

"...what's going on here?" he demanded. "Why haven't you set up the tents yet?" The King of Games was looking quite annoyed indeed.

"They keep arguin' about who should share a tent with Serenity.." explained Joey, sweatdropping.

"I should!" Tristan shouted.

"No, me!" Duke shouted back.

"ME!"

"ME!"

"ME!"

"ME!"

"BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP NOW! ALL THREE OF YOU WILL SLEEP TOGETHER!" Yami commanded, not at all in the mood to deal with their stupid arguments.

Joey, Tristan and Duke just stared.

Yami twitched. "I DON'T MEAN IT THAT WAY, YOU PERVERTS!" he screamed. His eyes were blazing red, his face was flushed, and he was basically looking as scary as Bakura on a bad day. And Bakura on a good day should be kept far away from small children, so Yami was looking pretty darn scary indeed.

"Okay..." the three mumbled, cowering in fear. "We'll, uh, we'll just go set up those tents now!" And so they did, bumping into each other in their haste to get the work done and to get away from the enraged Pharaoh.

((Bakura: FORMER Pharaoh.  
Kat: --thwaps him on the head-- No correcting the co-authoress!  
Bakura: ...fine. --slinks away--  
Kat: Back to the fic!))

"Good!" Yami yelled, stomping off.

-

Eventually all of the tents got set up. Once they actually started trying to do it right, Joey & Co. managed to do a pretty good job, though some of the tents sagged a bit in the middle.

After checking out the tent he had picked (which, of course, was one of the non-sagging ones), Bakura thought of something that no one else had seemed to.

"Why are we bothering with tents?" he wondered. "We're inside a store. Why not just use sleeping bags, it's not like it's gonna rain INSIDE or anything..."

Joey, Tristan, and Duke glared angrily at Bakura. Setting up those tents had taken a lot of time and hard work, and they certainly didn't appreciate anyone questioning whether or not all that work had really been necessary. Yami glared too, 'cause he was still in a bad mood. Even Yugi was avoiding him for the time being.

Bakura blinked. "...never mind..."

Yugi ran up to everyone else just then, carrying several bags of marshmallows. "I found lots and lots of marshmallows! We can roast them over one of those little grills and make this just like a real camp-out!" The guy was as excited as a little kid on their birthday, despite his sugar-rush-y hyperness having worn away by that time. Guess he really loved camping. "And we can cook burgers and tell ghost stories..." Yugi kept going on an on for a while about all the camping stuff they could do.

"And there's absolutely nothing weird about camping out in the middle of a K-Mart, nope, nothing at all..." Ryou muttered.

"I hope there aren't any bears or snakes or skunks or stuff..." Joey said nervously, peering around as if he expected one of those creatures to jump out at him from behind a shelf.

Everyone within hearing distance sweatdropped.

"You baka! We're in a K-Mart, not out in the woods! There AREN'T any animals!" exclaimed Bakura, staring at Joey with a "How-dumb-can-a-person-BE!" expression. Most of the others had the exact same expression, though Yugi was still grinning happily and Yami looked like his head would explode if he got any more annoyed. Joey's display of idiocy did nothing to help his mood.

"Oh. That's right... Hehehe..." Joey said, sweatdropping. "Guess I forgot..."

Everyone groaned.

"I can't believe you're actually related to him..." Tristan whispered to Serenity.

"Oh, he's probably just hungry. He doesn't think very well when he's hungry." Serenity whispered back, with a grin and a small sweatdrop.

"He doesn't think very well at all... " Tristan muttered.

Joey glared. "I heard dat."

"Then again, he is hungry 24/7..." added Tristan with a contemplative look on his face. "So I guess that could explain it..."

"You sound like you're hungry for a knuckle sandwich..." Joey muttered, still glaring at his annoying friend who just smirked back.

Serenity rolled her eyes, sighed, and walked off to talk to May as the two guys started bickering.

-

Marik, who by now was quite bored, decided to poke Tea for fun. Tea, still bound in duct tape and lying on the check-out counter-thing, was totally helpless. So he took the Millennium Rod and started jabbing her in the side.

"MMMMMBRRMMMPH..!" Tea mumbled, trying (and failing) to wriggle away from the pointed end of the Rod.

Marik snickered and started poking her harder. Unfortunately he poked her a little too hard, piercing the tape (and Tea's skin). Tea let out a muffled yelp and started thrashing about, eventually falling right off of the counter and rolling into a shelf with a clatter. Tale noticed and stomped over, snatching the Rod out of Marik's hand and whacking him over the head with it.

"Owwwwwww! What'd you do that for!" Marik cried, clutching his head. "Damn...I think I'm bleeding..."

"It serves you right if you are!" Tale yelled angrily, whacking him a few more times for good measure. "I tied her up here so she'd be quiet, and you go and cause her to make all this racket! You wanna be the next to get duct-taped? Huh? WELL DO YA!"

Marik cowered in fear. "N-no..." he mumbled, backing away from Tale while clutching his head, crazy light-blond hair streaked with blood.

-

Over in the trenchcoat section, ((Tiran: Does K-Mart even sell trenchcoats? Kat: No idea…)) a mysterious person was hiding behind some darker-than-black coats, listening for any other trapped customers.

Said mysterious person began to wonder why he even CAME to this stupid store. Oh, yes. That was why. Said person's little brother just HAD to buy that copy of Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories.

And what said person's little brother wants, said person's little brother gets. Said person really hated his love for said person's little brother sometimes.

"So, I told Kat about it, and we've been friends ever since."

"Really? When I tell Tea something like that, she just tells me to try and become friends with them…"

Oh no. Someone was coming. This means that said person might not remain hidden like said person wants.

In a flash, said person was on top of the shelf, laying across it in an attempt to hide. But something was missing. Oh, great. Said person's little brother was still out in the store, probably looking for said person.

In fact, said person could see said person's little brother. He was currently walking… no… running around a corner, heading straight for the two girls that had just walked past said person's hiding place. Oh, no. He was gonna hit them!

* * *

**End of Chapter 5**

* * *

Tiran: I think we finished that in a good stopping place. 

May: I agree.

Kat: I guess.

Kanika: Sure.

Tale: Hey, who was "said person", anyway?

--everyone but Tale sweatdrops--


End file.
